For years we have been told that in the workplace, women have to be assertive to get to the top. SMASH that glass ceiling, rather than work out where the entrance might be. But nobody really stops to think about why assertiveness is the standard to aspire to. The writer of this New York Times article argues that is because we still conduct our lives along a male standard.
“The assumption that assertiveness is a more valuable trait than, say, deference is itself the product of a ubiquitous and corrosive gender hierarchy.”
Assertiveness, pushiness, demanding what you want, never apologising is revered. But what if we switched that around? If we aimed towards a more ‘female’ cultural norm, by listening, being kind, apologising - perhaps we’d achieve more equilibrium and importantly, cooperation in the workplace.
I’d not heard the phrase before, but the idea of gender hierarchy is extremely pertinent for me as a mum to a boy. In daily interactions with other parents I notice that being told “like a boy” is usually delivered (and received) as a glowing compliment along with positive adjectives such as ‘brave’, ‘big’ or ‘clever’. Even now at 32 I am guilty of inwardly beaming when someone tells me that I’m “one of the boys”. Yet to be called “girly” is seen as negative, emasculating. This starts early in our society and becomes ingrained until the point that;
Female hobbies, careers, possessions and behaviors are generally dismissed as frivolous, trivial, niche or low status — certainly nothing to which any self-respecting boy or man might ever aspire.
But what if my son wants to be a nurse, or a cleaner, or a secretary? I’d hope that in twenty-ish years time his choice would be respected, unlike now where even men who start off in typically ‘female’ jobs leave sooner than if they had started a ‘male’ job, due to social pressure. Let’s hope that acknowledgement of the issue will lead to a solution, and the media, brands and culture can help us redress the balance.
